I see her, falling and losing control. I see her hiding and lost and I don't know what to do. I figured she was smoking pot but she's all grown up and has been on her own for a long time. It's not my business. My concern is the way her personality has changed.
She is crabby and cranky and defensive and moody and mean. She doesn't care about anything or herself and she doesn't hardly eat anymore. Clinical depression, I see it in her eyes. It's not just that she's having a bad day, it's a serious depression. That's such a vague term, I think it's a clinical imbalance. I think she's always had this imbalance I just didn't see it. There was always a logical reason, she was young, we moved around a lot, pms, she was a teenager.... I just never saw it. Even when she asked me for help, when she was about 11 or 12 she came to me crying saying she didn't know what was wrong with her but she needed help. By the time I figured out how to get her help with no medical benefits, she wouldn't go. I should have seen it then but at that time I was having trouble getting a job and never knew where we would live. I should have seen.
I don't think the issue is the marajuana smoking. I think it's the clinical depression and once that is taken care of I think the pot smoking will run its course.
I have always said she was one of the strongest people I know and she really is. Even as a kid she found a way to take care of herself and survive. It's takes great strength to do what she's done and what an amazing survival instinct.
My real fear here is that the pot isn't helping her cope anymore. I'm afraid she will either give in to the depression and kill herself or someone else or end up in jail or she'll move on to something stronger.
How do I help her, what do I say?
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